I hate gay Chiang Mai

Why one can hate gay Chiang Mai

By Suzy Size (the arguably most infamous gay writer of Thailand, based in wonderful Pattaya, but knows everything about gay Chiang Mai as well)

Why all this glowing praise for gay Chiang Mai? It is just a dull provincial town in the north of gay Thailand full of brash young, co-ed, hetero back-packers and too few places for a respectable gay cruiser to go. Not only is it dull it so far from the sea! Holidays, from my youth (a long time ago I’ll admit) have always meant the seaside and without the sound of the surf, however mild, and the smell of sea borne ozone, a holiday is just not a holiday. More importantly, where, without a gay beach (Chiang Mai has none, of course), can you see the display of bronze and tan bodies with well defined pecs, washboard stomachs and tight buns that offer themselves for the visual (and more) delectation of the lick-lipping elder gentlemen (like myself) who throng to Pattaya’s gay beach, for example. Certainly not in gay Chiang Mai!

And the clubs in gay Chiang Mai! What few there are should really send a delegation to gay Pattaya or gay Bangkok to find out how to run them and make them interesting. There is a display of sorts at Adam (probably the best in the whole of gay Chiang Mai, but it is a bit old hat and the boys (if you can call them that) are unexciting and limited in numbers. As for the karaoke bar, avoid it all costs, filled with out-of-tune has-beens who think that they can emulate Bird. Some might admire the soft rounded bodies and white-skinned northern look of gay Chiang Mai but give me the plough-share cheek bones, broad shouldered, slim-hipped north-easterners, or at least the chiseled features and developed bodies of the canny city boys of gay Bangkok or gay Pattaya. Other once-famous spots seem to be filled with the same people I met there when I first visited 15 years ago . . . still believing that their now lined faces and pot bellies will be exciting to one. That is gay Chiang Mai!

Everywhere you walk you are faced with girlie bars filled with young and old harridans vying for your interest (I usually ask, “Have you got a younger brother that is interested in queer stuff?” to put them off and it sometimes works-but not always. Why do women (in gay Chiang Mai and other places) always think they can change your gay orientation if they try?). You are jostled by British and Continental back-packers, some of younger ones are quite attractive I’ll admit, but all with their sweaty heifer in tow. There is nowhere at all that you can sit and watch a conglomeration of mostly gay or at least willing-to-play young males walk casually by and exchange a smile or a come-hither wink with one of them as there are in Bangkok and Pattaya. Gay Chiang Mai compares with nothing. If you do try it they sometimes smile back hesitantly but the look on their face says, “What is that funny old man grinning at me for?” Clueless is the word (and sleepless in gay Chiang Mai). The one exception is the gay Chiang Mai Cruise Bar in the over-rated and nick-nackery night market (if you can find it) that is quite a pleasant place to have a jar or two and meet an interesting youth-but even there most of the passers-by are straight. I just hate gay Chiang Mai.

To get to the gay venues in Chiang Mai you have to take a tuk tuk from your hotel (unless you have chosen to stay in the gay Chiang Mai Lotus hotel (which is actually not bad I have to admit) and few of them are in easy walking distance. Once in one you are more or less stuck, as it is not easy to bar hop in gay Chiang Mai, or even to find bars to hop to. If you can find something other than a milk faced loon who attracts you, you then have to drag him, seemingly reluctantly, back to your hotel and pay the higher bar-fines to do so, not to mention over-paying him for the usually untutored reaction to your amorous approaches. The places which offer massage (other than hay gay Chiang Mai House of Male) are so sleazy as to put you off before you even get to a room, if you can find a boy you would like handling your body, which is unlikely. I just hate gay Chiang Mai!

Whilst you can usually get a reasonable Thai meal if you like Northern food (I don’t), to find a reasonable restaurant with good French, Italian or Indian food at reasonable prices is difficult in gay Chiang Mai. Those few that do exist are, due to Lonely Planet, usually crowded with the same ubiquitous, hetero back-packers. Three are many that advertise their ethnic origin, but the food is barely edible. Another reason to hate gay Chiang Mai.

No, for good holiday with sunny beaches in easy reach and a plenitude of attractive youths and bars and restaurants to see them in, give me gay Pattaya or even gay Bangkok (not far from the beach after all). At least you are not skinned just to look if you can find something worth looking at-and you do not have to wrap up in a wooly jumper at night!

I hate gay Chiang Mai...

This is what formidable Suzy Size told Sticky Rice (when she was totally pissed), the foremost gay guide for Asia and therefore gay Thailand and gay Pattaya, but also gay Bangkok, gay Phuket, gay Chiang Mai, gay Chiang Rai, gay Hua Hin, gay Nong Khai, gay Khon Kaen, gay Koh Samui and gay Hat Yai. Sticky rice gay guide for Asia can also help you queer guys to find your way in gay China, gay Cambodia, gay Hong Kong, gay Indonesia, the bitr of gay India, gay Japan, queer or gay Korea, gay Laos, gay Malaysia, gay Myanmar (Burma), gay Nepal (if it exists), gay Philippines, gay Singapore, gay Sri Lanka, gay Taiwan, gay Thailand and last but not least gay Vietnam. Visit our Pink Pages where we list all gay places we know of to make all the queers of the gay world happy. I just really hate gay Chiang Mai.

Would you like to know more about gay Chiang Mai?

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